


Blue, Blue Skies

by SmoulderingWolf



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon-ish, Choose Your Own Adventure, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-05-01 15:40:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5211398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmoulderingWolf/pseuds/SmoulderingWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Outside Wall Maria, giant humanoid beings lurk. They are the greatest threat humanity has ever faced. And one day, they break through Maria, and their threat becomes all the more real.<br/>Your name is [First] [Last]. You are there that day, and watch as the Colossal Titan breaks through, watch as it lets in a dark reality. You'll have to fight to survive. You make the decisions, but remember: every decision has consequences, some less so than others. After all... "The world is cruel. But very beautiful."</p><p>Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan belongs to Hajime Isayama, not me.<br/>Only the various OCs belong to me.</p><p>(Originally, I posted this on DeviantArt, but thought it would be easier to post here.)</p><p>A massive thank you to Holly-chan, for reading through it for me and giving me the little push to posting it. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Definition of Bravery

**Author's Note:**

> I decided, after reading some other reader inserts, that I wanted to try making a "Choose Your Own Adventure" style reader insert. So, basically, there will be various points where you, the reader, will be faced with a choice. This choice will affect multiple factors, so you could end up anywhere - even dead. I hope this will work out okay, and I will gladly accept comments, if you want to comment that is.
> 
> (Also, here's the legend/key:  
> [First] - your first name  
> [Last] - your last name  
> [H/c] - hair colour  
> [E/c] - eye colour  
> [F/n] - Father's name  
> [M/n] - Mother's name  
> There will probably be others, later, but I'll add them to each chapter as they come.)

“So what’s in there?”

While she continued braiding your hair as if she had never even asked a question, you slipped a book out of the satchel, fingers latched onto it protectively. “I don’t know what’s inside,” you shrugged, staring at the antique.

She said nothing. Instead, she silently completed weaving your [h/c] locks, allowing you some time to inspect the rather odd-looking domed book – even though you found no way to open it.

“Karie, you look at it!” you cried out exasperatedly, swivelling round to face her. Eyebrows furrowed deeply, you forced the book into her hands, trusting her entirely.

With a barely noticeable smile, she took it delicately, crossing her legs as she leaned further against the back wall of some random house in Shiganshina. “[First]...” she breathed sharply. Sky-eyes widened at the sight of the book, with its aged leather creases and nooks, and the crystal embedded in the centre of the book. Her tanned, lithe fingers traced over the bumps, over the frayed strands encasing the jewel. You couldn’t help but watch as her eyes glimmered in excitement, in curiosity, as goose-bumps rose up on her exposed forearms.

For a moment, her eyebrows knitted together out of frustration. She glared at the book, trying to frighten it into spilling its secrets – not that it worked. She sighed deeply as both of you had your eyes locked on it. Neither of you had ever seen a crystal like that, nor a book that housed such a gem. And it honestly frustrated the two of you to no ends.

“Why’s it locked?” she grumbled, more to herself than to you.

You answered with a simple lift of your shoulders. “Mutti said she’ll give it to me when I’m older. Said it’s ‘important’ or something.” Karie handed it back to you, reluctantly dragging her eyes away from it as the cogs in her head continued to spin. “She doesn’t know I have it,” you mumbled guiltily. “But I just wanted to show you, so don’t tell her!”

The ashen-blonde girl chuckled with a large grin plastered on her face, momentarily tossing thoughts of the book to the side. She held out a pinkie, right in your face. “Your secret’s safe with me!” she assured you as you linked pinkies before switching to ruffling your plaited hair. The book plagued her mind once more as she drew back her hand. “Ah, [First]... We need to figure out how to open it!”

The lock was the main problem of the book. There was no keyhole, no obvious way to release the secrets within. Obviously, you too were annoyed with the situation – especially since you didn’t have a solution.

A snap of her fingers brought you to her attention. You raised an eyebrow at her, goading her on.

Cornflower-blue eyes lit up, glinting almost manically. “There’s a boy on the other side of town that always reads! He might know the answer! At least, he usually does...” She pondered the idea for a moment, finger perched on her chin.

Slinging the strap of the tatty bag over your shoulder, you leapt up onto your feet. “Come on, Karie!” you moaned, bouncing on your soles impatiently, your head thrown back dramatically.

She moved so quickly that you hadn’t even noticed her pass you by until she called out your name, smirking. Slipping a little on loose dirt from the path, you ran after her, eager to satisfy your aching curiosity. _Ah, same old [First],_ Karie thought to herself, smirk still plastered on her face.

 

The solace of a boy lived in the opposite end of the district. She had apparently met him through her father and his grandfather, two friends. And throughout the entire trek, Karie kept glancing over at you. It was a trait she had picked up years ago, and she – obviously – had not gotten rid of her protectiveness over you. You wondered if she was like that towards anyone else; then again, she was mainly around you and no one else.

You always had questions up your sleeve, primarily regarding the outside world, the very thing the King’s Government had declared taboo. Whenever the bigger kids would pick on you for being a heretic, an idealistic fool due to your natural curiosity, Karie would be there. With a glare, she’d stand there, arms crossed. Just the sight of her would send them running off, unless they weren’t so bright. She would be relentless, not afraid to throw a hit if they dared to _try_ land a punch on you while she was around.

A while back she had told you about another kid like you. He too wanted to explore the outside, break free of the boundaries. “Same kid,” she explained on the way, dodging some market-goers. “He’s really nice though, so don’t worry!”

You meekly nodded your head, fiddling with the bag’s fraying linen shoulder strap.

“He’s got a friend who wants to join the Survey Corps too, just like us! Both of them do!”

At that, your [e/c] eyes brightened. “Them too?!” You grinned madly. _We’re not the only ones!_

“As soon as they’re fifteen too, they’re going!”

 _Fifteen._ You stopped walking, instead taking to frowning down at the dirt, as if blaming it for all your troubles. “Sorry again, Karie,” you mumbled, remembering what you thought was your fault. “You should have gone. Y-you’d make new friends,” your voice slowly trailed off at the end, worried and pained at the prospect of losing your best friend. But at the same time, you didn’t want to hold her back. How could you live with the thought of keeping her back from her dreams?

The taller girl spun round instantly, gripping you by the shoulders almost painfully. “[First], we made a promise, didn’t we? My mother said you can never break a promise. Ever!” She stepped back slightly, a rather gentle smile lighting up her tan features. “It’s just two years!” she called out enthusiastically. “We can train and then fly!” The blonde turned away from you, taking to staring up at the Wall, the very thing keeping you trapped in this cage. “[First],” she started, voice calm as she imagined the future blissfully. “We could be heroes.”

_Prior to the expedition, soldiers rode out of the Outer Gate proudly, mounted high on their horses. You had watched with glee and admiration as they faced the monstrous enemy that you had yet to see. But on their return, there were fewer. Carts with the injured, carts with the dead. Most were covered in splotches of blood, eyes unable to unsee what they had to endure. Some of the injured were missing limbs, wincing each time the cart hit a bump. The Commander broke down, the countless losses, the soldiers he had led to their deaths, finally getting to him._

_Your father, a strong man, stood with you. He kept his chin up, and glanced over to you out of the corner of his vision. When he saw your widened eyes, he bent down to ruffle your hair. Most of the others around you cursed the Corps, spitting out insults. Some went so far as to claiming their taxes just went to feeding the enemy, gorging them until they could eat no more. But he, he never once believed their cruel words. “Bravery is facing your fears, little sparrow, eh? They’re heroes.”_

_He gave you his classic smile as he ignored the people’s negativity. Instead, he praised the soldiers’ curiosity, smile exuding his faith in humanity. That very smile became bittersweet though as you spoke up._

_“Vatti, why didn’t you join the Corps?”_

_Your father sighed. His gaze solemnly returned to the few returning men and women, injured and uninjured. “Because [First], I have duties that are more important to me.”_

_He just laughed at your puzzled face. “One day, you’ll understand. One day...”_

_“Vati, me and Karie are going to be heroes one day!” You tugged on his sleeve and he picked you up, plopping you onto his sturdy shoulders. “We will be, won’t we?” you asked quietly._

_He chuckled at your antics as the two of you made your way home, him doing all the walking for you. “Remember what Mutti said, sparrow.”_

_“Mutti said never let anyone stop you from flying!” you called out gleefully, spreading your arms out wide. “I could fly like Freddy!” Your father smiled again, thankful for your blissful ignorance._

“I want to be a hero!” you cried out to Karie, with your father’s words from earlier in mind. 

She smirked at your reply. “Then, we must train!” She grabbed your hand tightly, pulling you along with her as she began to sprint towards your destination. “Come on, you’ve got to meet these guys! One’s got a sister too and she’s really cool!”

Before either of you could say any more, the streets of the southern district shook wildly, vibrating with the ear-splitting explosion echoing throughout Shiganshina. You lost your footing, the force throwing you up off the ground. Some form of light, an almost blinding light, reflected against Karie’s eyes as your hand slowly slipped out of Karie’s grasp, but she wouldn’t have any of that. Her grip on you tightened, almost iron like, and her eyes became like ice – sharp and focused, willing to protect you no matter the cost, as always.

You both stumbled down to the ground, you giving out a small whimper in pain as your small body crashed down to the brittle ground. Townsfolk ran around you in a slightly frantic state, trying to comprehend what just happened.

“I think something fell!” one of the stall-keepers, an old, rounded man, called out to another man. Along with some of the other men, they rushed towards the site to investigate. You watched on with bright eyes as they rushed forward, driven by their own curiosity.

Karie carefully pulled you up, keeping a wary gaze in the general direction of the men. As she caught sight of something that she really wished was just a trick of her mind, she inhaled sharply. Immediately, she shoved you behind her protectively.

“Hey, Karie, what’s happening?” Curiosity was eating at you, and driving you insane. You attempted to get a view, only for her to snap.

“Stop it,” she demanded strictly. She stared straight ahead, trying to get a good view on what she thought she was seeing: something was holding onto the ledge of the Wall. _Is that... a hand?_

A middle-aged woman confirmed her thoughts indirectly as she mumbled to someone beside her, “I-it’s _them_...”

The older girl glanced over her shoulder back at you, inwardly cursing (her mother wouldn’t have been happy with all the words littering her ‘innocent’ and ‘pure’ mind) as cornflower blue eyes locked onto your unknowing [e/c] ones.

“[First], we’re going to find Frederick – no, your vati. Freddy’s on cannon training today...” She slowly turned around, still not allowing you to even glimpse up at the Wall properly.

You glowered at her, eyes narrowing into terrifying slits, a sight she had never seen much of before – especially directed at her. “Just let me see!” Quickly, you stepped backwards and then sideways, out of her cage-like hold. You blocked out her calling your name as you saw it.

Something clung onto the Wall, something outside. If you hadn’t known better, you’d have thought it was a hand. You squinted your eyes, trying to get a clearer view. The object squeezed harder on the edge of the cage, applying more pressure. A brilliant red, it stood out on the Wall, now that a lot of the smoke had dissipated. Your breath caught in your throat as a realisation flashed through your mind: _it’s a hand._

The very thing keeping you safe from them was crumbling underneath the beast’s pure strength.  As you stared at it, you couldn’t help but wonder about all the things you heard about it. You were sure that you had heard they had more skin; that hand was completely covered in muscles and tendons, lacking any trace of skin.

The Wall crumbled even more as its grip tightened even more so, allowing it to haul its colossal body up. The head appeared from behind the Wall, in a similar state to its hand. Teeth were bared, not hidden by any lips. Tendons, muscles covered its cheeks, forehead. It looked over all the people as they stood there, frozen in place as they stared right back.

Even Karie couldn’t move. The dark eyes shocked her entire body. Her muscles tightened as she stared at it, thinking only one thing: _why do they look so... human?_

You thought the same, entranced by its peculiar appearance. It seemed so big, impossible to defeat. _Can we really fight them?_ You wondered how the Survey Corps had managed to hold on so long, how they had not yet succumbed to their fear entirely. _I’m not fit for the Wings..._

The beast, after glancing over you all, turned its gaze elsewhere, looking anywhere but your fear-stricken faces. It was almost as if it didn’t want to do this. As it raised its head and faced you all once more, its gloomy eyes, hidden by shadow, seemed to scream out, _“I’m sorry,”_ though you quickly dismissed it, not believing what your mind was telling you.

Without much warning, its foot knocked a blistering hole in the Wall, the overwhelming force from the kick sending those nearby flying. Both you and Karie were knocked back, your backs colliding harshly with a wall. Debris soared through the sky, temporarily free like the birds of the skies, until they came raining down on you all. Almost shamefully, as if it couldn’t bear to watch the turmoil it had caused, the monstrosity shrunk away, disappearing from sight into the newly formed smoke.

Screams erupted around you, dragging you back to the real world and away from your stare at the beast – or at least, where it was. Karie’s look was fierce as she grabbed your hand, pulling you out of the way and towards the shelter of a porch. She huddled close to you, ensuring that her body covered yours. [E/c] orbs looked up to her, in fear for her safety. _She’s still protecting me_ , you thought as you watched her close her eyes tightly, bracing herself for any pain.

Young arms wrapped around you, bringing you closer to her warmth. “Don’t look, [First],” she warned, voice quavering unusually. “Please don’t.”

You didn’t notice that she had already opened her eyes as you couldn’t see, face trapped under her head. She saw the carnage ensuing around you two as the stone fragments pounded the ground, uncaring of the people caught in the fray. Ugly shades of red tainted the streets you once messed about on, the result of the havoc caused by that skinless Titan. Instantly, she worried for her parents, though she knew they could get out and were too far away from you two. And Frederick... Your friend would have to deal with the havoc, and try to get everyone out of harm’s way.

“W-we’ve got to find y-your vati,” she suggested. “He’ll know what to do, right?”

You nodded feverishly, unused to reassuring her. “He’ll know what to do!” you whisper-yelled to her, nearly bursting with the faith you held in him, enough for you both. After all, your father was closer than hers, who was most likely on the other side of Shiganshina.

The shouts and bawling carried on as more people became trapped under the relentless rubble. Around you, houses lay in ruin, including part of the one you took shelter just outside of. You hadn’t dared look yet, put off by the blonde’s out of control shaking.

After a few more minutes of cowering in fear, Karie shook you lightly, somehow managing to keep her voice steady – though her eyes showed you all you needed to know. “Come on.” As she swiftly pulled you up, she solemnly warned you, “don’t look.”

You tried to ignore the worried echoes of calls for loved ones rolling through the streets as they tried to force their way into your ears. Though, you were fully aware of a woman screaming that _they_ had gotten in, before begging others to leave with her.

Karie just led you to your house, trying to find the correct way. Both of you sprinted down the familiar paths as chaos ensued all around. You hesitated as you spotted a woman, grabbing at some bloodied cloth, unwilling to face facts. A boulder had crushed her husband, leaving her toddler helpless next to her as she went into shock. She tried to drag him out from under the rock, mumbling away; she couldn’t accept that he was already gone. Her son, the toddler, looked around, eyes growing watery as the confusion and panic grew around him. He finally burst into tears, crying, “Mutti, Mutti!” But she was too out of it to realise he was right there, needing her, as she screamed for her husband.

Karie tugged you away by the sleeve, nearly ripping the sleeve of your tunic. You glanced back quickly, sighing silently in relief as you saw a man drag the mother and child away, towards the Inner Gate. She rushed you past the maimed bodies, crushed by rubble and wreckage, trying to ensure that neither of you had to see it all. Though she tried her best, it didn’t work. Your stomach churned painfully at the sight of an arm, clawing at the stones as the rest of the body, still attached, lay trapped underneath a house. Just as you looked away, it relaxed, the body finally giving in.

You carried on, steadily following your best friend. She ran ahead ever so slightly, eyes whipping around your surroundings. You trusted her with your life, you really did. You knew that if anyone could help you, it was her. This was just another time that she would show you that you could trust her, by stepping in and saving you.

“S-somebody help!”

Your head spun round, some hair escaping from the [h/c] plait and framing your face with the sharp movement. Wide eyes glanced around for the source, scanning the rubble remains of Shiganshina. This part may have been further away from the Wall, but it was still victim to stray chunks of the crumbled Wall.

Spotting the source, you ran over to the man, skidding to a stop next to him, one of the town’s cobblers: his hands were red-raw, bloody and splintered, though he did not give up in his cause. Just as determined as Karie, he fought with the structure of his fallen house, grunting in frustration when it barely budged. Dread filled your entire being as you watched him try and try again. _What if his family’s in there?_

Karie linked an arm with you, dragging you slightly away from the man. You pleaded silently with your eyes, begging for her to let you help the man. She glanced up and around, signalling for you to copy. The footsteps echoed in your ears again, smoke filling your nostrils. Your breathing became heavy as you remembered what situation you were in. The thuds of monstrous feet became heavier and heavier as you continued to look around, trying to figure out what to do.

And as you turned your gaze to the street, you caught sight of one. _A Titan._ It headed straight for you three, and Karie immediately gripped you tightly by the arm. She wasn’t going to let you stay and you knew that; there was no point trying to fight it. You shouted at the desperate husband, the father, to run, to get out of there before it was too late, but he yelled back hurtfully. “Cowards!” he hissed, voice seething and full of pain at the same time. He couldn’t bear to leave them behind. He couldn’t and he wouldn’t. It was his duty to protect them. That was the vow he made!

You couldn’t understand how Karie dealt with it all.

You sprinted away with the older girl, back turned to him. Tears gathered in your eyes, guilt racking your body as you heard the Titan’s pounding steps looming closer to him. _I should have helped, shouldn’t I?_ The man promptly screamed, fearful for his own life, though it was more out of anger at the beast for preventing him from saving them. You had to fight the sickening curiosity within you to turn around as Karie looked over her shoulder in desperation. You pushed on further ahead, trying to force your mind to block out the screams – it proved futile. You realised that you’d never forget all the cries for mercy, the calls for fallen loved ones. The day would be forever implanted within your memory – if you would survive, that is.

“Oh God, oh God, oh G-!” The man’s screams were cut off abruptly, followed by a bone-chilling crunch vibrating off each wall, catching up to your ears. Temptation lingered, whispering, trying to persuade you to look, but you knew it would only hinder you. The sound alone made you want to heave up your stomach’s contents; who knew what the sight would do?

Panic set in. The clashing of crumbling buildings, giving up as stones weighed them down, the bounding footsteps from the Titan only a street behind you, the begging. It all clouded your mind. You couldn’t think straight, and you knew it wasn’t good.

“Focus on finding your vati!” Karie yelled over the endless streams of noise.

 _Vati will know what to do_ , you told yourself. You kept repeating mentally, _focus on finding Vati, focus, [First]. What would he do?_ “This way!” you shouted over to the blonde as you twisted your body around to enter a new street. It was a shortcut you remembered, leading to another marketplace near your house.

At the sound of another painful scream and the resounding footsteps ahead of you, you altered your course to a smaller alleyway, slightly veering off course. Karie was right behind you, loyally following you as you would her. She put her full faith in you, remembering what you could be like when you became determined.

Your chest heaved as you sprinted on, unused to all the running and the fear. You slowed down slightly, answering your lungs’ wheezed prayers for oxygen. Around you, the street lay in turmoil, like so many others. Ugly marks stained the ground, cracks littering the area. Houses had tumbled to the ground and you found yourself begging that yours is still okay, that your family is safe and sound. You pushed on, legs still moving, dragging you round another corner and down another street. You couldn’t deal with seeing more spilled blood, or to think of all the people trapped under what were once houses, ceilings betraying them as, instead of providing shelter, they were delivering them straight to pain and death.

 _I don’t want to die._ Your chest continued to ache, though you paid it no mind, concentrating on speeding up again and getting to safety. Fear drove you, propelling you towards your goal. There were no soldiers in sight, no one to save you, no one there to fight the living nightmares. You and Karie were alone, two kids left in this nightmare to find their own way out.

Karie’s frantic voice broke you free from your whirlpool of thoughts. Her voice was oddly far behind you, and you noticed, as you spun around, that she had stopped. You hadn’t even noticed at first that she had been shouting, telling you to go another way. Her usually tan face was drained of colour, horror reflecting in her bright blue irises. That very horror though, was swiftly replaced by determination glinting in the grey slivers in her irises – a little detail you noticed long ago – as she bounded towards you.

You didn’t understand. _Why’d she stop?_ Delirious, you spun back around to continue your escape, only to feel every single drop of blood within you freeze as you stared into glassed-over eyes.

Right in front of you, stood a Titan. Even though it had bent down considerably far, it still towered over your pathetic height. A grubby hand reached down, headed right towards your shocked body. Everything slowed down as you watched the stained fingers uncurling, the hand readying itself to capture its latest prey. You couldn’t move. Tears rolled freely down your cheeks, clouding your [e/c] eyes.

Behind you, Karie shouted, screamed, yelled. She begged you to move, run, to do _something_. But you couldn’t. You could feel your heart slowing down gradually, accepting that this was the end. Before, you always thought that maybe when you die, your heart races out of fear, pleading with the rest of your body to hold on a little longer. But no, your pulse slowly ebbed out, becoming fainter and fainter by the second.

You found yourself unable to stop staring at the monstrosity, taking in each horrifying detail of the thing that would end you. Disproportionate body, teeth that would tear through your young flesh. Its skin, darkened ever so slightly by years of wandering the outdoors, was tainted by leftovers of many a feast, primarily the blood of recent meals it had gorged itself on. A tongue lapped out of its mouth, slipping over rotting teeth. A nauseating stench entered your nostrils and, although you had never before smelt it, you knew what it was – the smell of death. You gulped slowly. _I’m going to die._ Karie shouted still, calling your name, though not yet near enough.

Never before had she felt such a strong urge to protect you. Her body had never responded to a threat towards you like this before. Her whole being felt like it would implode from the determination pulsing through her veins, adrenaline rushing inside her as she forced her legs to carry on towards you. _[First], you really need to stop daydreaming..._ She took note of your frozen stance, fear hypnotising you and trapping you within its merciless clutches. [E/c] orbs remained focused on the beast, body making no move to dodge the incoming hand. _Thump thump. Thump thump._ Her heart began to beat even faster and faster still, pounding against her rib cage, as she neared you. _I can’t pull her away... I might be too late... I’m sorry, [First]..._

You nearly cried out as something slammed into your side, slamming you against a window. Glass shards rained down around you, glimmering beautifully for such a bleak situation; it was nearly as mesmerising as pure fear. Some stray slivers lodged themselves in your clothing and skin, sharp pricks of pain alerting you to their presence. _Did it just hit me?_ Your eyes darted back to Karie’s position, only to widen when you saw she was not standing there, nor running towards you.

Frenzied shouts and grunts were what led you to her. Achingly slow, you turned to where you stood only a few seconds ago, frozen with fear... The Titan was still there, but it no longer breathed its putrid breath onto you. No, the smell enveloped its newest prey, still alive and kicking in its grasp. Its irises, nearly void of all colour, seemed to brighten up for a split second as it realised it had caught its next meal, one of many for the day.

“Karie,” you breathed sharply. “Karie!” You forced yourself up with your hands, glass digging into your palms, but you didn’t care. “ _Karie!_ ”

Her ears perked up as she heard your voice, dismay lacing it. She clenched her eyes shut, making sure she didn’t look at you. _Stay brave, Karie_ , she told herself. A simple breath was all she took, before screaming at the top of her voice: “[FIRST]! RUN! _GO!_ ”

She knew you couldn’t do anything – you were just a kid, like her. She just wanted to protect you, one last time. After all, she promised she would keep you safe, long ago. And of course, she was scared. She gaped at the hand tightened around her body, engulfing it almost entirely, letting out a silent sob. _M-Mutti..._ Her hands shook softly at first, before erupting into an almost unstoppable quaking as the reality hit her. Tears streaked down her cheeks no matter how hard she attempted to stop them. She couldn’t let you see them, lest you decided to stay and help – she couldn’t let you risk your life like her.

You saw the tears almost straight away, reflecting in the bitterly pleasant sun. Your voice didn’t seem to work anymore. You wanted to scream, to cry out, pull your hair out and beg for it to stop. You tried to will yourself out of the nightmare, hoping it was just your over-active imagination and not reality. You just wanted her standing next to you, playing some game, not trapped in a fleshy prison.

Her eyes met yours as they stared right at you, filled to the very brim with tears and fear. _[First]... Be safe..._ “PLEASE! JUST _GO_!” She just wanted you to be safe, after all.

The Titan smiled creepily at its squirming prey, seemingly enjoying her hopeless attempts to break free. Its eyes silently communicated that there was no escape, no backing out from her self-sacrifice. She refused to regret her actions, though she did wish her vati was there to help her, to save the day.

She turned her head around, facing away from you, trying to focus on attempting to somehow wriggle out of the Titan’s grip. “GO!” she screamed again, voice faltering as the tears trickled down her puffy cheeks.

You ignored every ache and pain in your body caused by the stony ground and broken glass. Your legs trembled at the sight of the beast holding your best friend captive, relentless in its hold. Part of you told you to run, to listen to her, that maybe you’d find someone who could help her. The other commanded you to stay, to help her for all the times she’s gotten into fights to protect you, for all the times she stood by your side.

**_So, what do you do?_ **

_Option one – Help her. She’s your best friend. It’s your chance to repay her for every time she’s dragged you out of scuffles, out of harm’s way. You’ve got to help her. Go to **Chapter Two.**_

_Option two – Run. She’s telling you to run for a reason. You need to get to safety, like she said. Find your vati, and get out of there. And there has to be a soldier somewhere to help her... Right? Go to **Chapter Four.** _


	2. Sprouting Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You decide you can't abandon Karie, and choose to stay and try to help her, to the best of your ability.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Unfortunately, I was away for a few days, and had no access to the internet.  
> But here's Chapter Two!

_Run... Or save her?_

It was a simple choice for you after all. Countless times she had risked herself for you, throwing herself into the fray to defend you. She’d come out, bruised and sometimes bloody, and you’d patch her back up. Never once had she complained; she simply stood by, ready for the next brawl and the next batch of kids who thought they could pick on you.

_For every time... You’ve helped me._

You gritted your teeth, eyebrows furrowed as if that would somehow help you focus, as you glanced around for something, anything. If you could distract that Titan, she might have a chance, you had deduced. But how?

An idea – not a very good at that, but one nonetheless – slipped into mind as you stared up at the beast, [e/c] hues daring.

“Hey! You!”

Karie’s head spun around as she heard you shout at the Titan recklessly. _Why didn’t she go?_ The older girl watched in both amazement and horror as you screamed at her captor, voice unrelenting in your verbal attack.

She snapped out of her stupor, her own voice taking to the skies too. “[FIRST]! I TOLD YOU TO _GO_!” She snarled lightly. _You were supposed to go, [First]! Why didn’t you?!_

The blonde continued yelling at you, warning you, begging for you leave, to just go. While you ignored her, the Titan didn’t. Instead, it kept its gaze on her, almost intrigued. Its hand, already securely wrapped around her lithe frame, tightened its grip. As she winced at the increasing pressure, the Titan’s emotionless face remained unfaltering. Her whimpers had no affect on it; it just continued staring at her, eyeing up the fresh meal. The pain reflecting in her eyes didn’t go unnoticed to you – she never showed pain before. She would always grit her teeth and laugh about something. She never liked to show pain, as she had seen it as a weakness.

_Think, [First], think! What do they use to fight Titans?_

You glanced around the chaotic street desperately, glimpsing all the shattered and crumbled buildings, trying to force some kind of plan out of your mind. C _ome on, [First]! You were going to join the Survey Corps. You can do it!_

 _“Huh? What do you_ think _we use against Titans, [First]? These blades aren’t for nothing, y’know?” the older boy told you as he smirked down at you._

_You turned away from him, arms crossed over your chest. “Well, how was I supposed to know? No one told me.”_

_“Well, now_ I _told you, hmm?”_

“Ah, thank you, Freddy!” you mumbled under your breath. Something glinted in the corner of your eye. You ran over, crashing down to your knees as you skidded. The miniscule slivers, hidden by the gravel, dug into your knees as they collided with the ground. You paid no heed to the further cuts on your hands as they sifted through the shattered glass, searching for the most suitable.

The ashen-blonde had finally abandoned her cool demeanour. Her fists pounded against the flesh cage, and she was reduced to a begging, blubbering mess. “M-Mutti!” she called out desperately. “Mutti!” She seemed to have slightly forgotten that you were nearby, her mind caught in fear’s iron grip. Any rational thoughts she had left were drowned by the terror of the situation.

You set aside her wails, disregarding anything that could potentially distract you. No more listening to screams, no more staring at pools of blood in shock.

Heart racing, you stood tall with your make-shift weapon in hand: a wicked fragment of glass, digging into the flesh of your palm. You didn’t care about the pain, the blood trickling down onto the ground; you had a friend to protect. The shard dug further into your palm and fingers and you clenched it tightly, mentally preparing yourself.

_Come on, [First]. She would do the same for you._

Your left hand wrapped around your right, securing your hold on the blade. You turned your head up, [e/c] glaring darkly at the monster. It remained still, staring at you and the dots of blood dripping onto your shoes and the ground by your feet. You bared your teeth at it, disgusted by the monster. “I’ll save you, Karie,” you promised quietly, though she could hear each word clearly.

“[First]! Don’t!” she croaked out as you got into position, ready to sprint. Sky eyes widened slightly at the terrifying expression on your face, at the hate exuded from it. _Please don’t do anything stupid, [First]..._ She watched the blood dripping from the glass, from your hand. “[FIRST]!”

You rose up your bloody glass-dagger, poised as perfectly as a quill in your hand. With a ridiculous battle-cry, you charged forward at the hand. Madness flickered in your [e/c] orbs as you stormed towards it.

“[F-First]!”

Rage burned within you as you pierced the skin, its blood spurting onto you. Steam billowed up from the wounds as you stabbed and stabbed, screaming at it. “Let her go! Let her go!” Your voice was unwavering as you continued your frenzied, relentless attack.

The glass – somehow – pierced the skin again and again, though only lightly. You screamed as you put all your strength into each hit, the weapon splintering off slightly with each attack.

As the steam became too much for your eyes, you stumbled backwards, away from it and Karie. With the back of your hands, you rubbed your eyes in an attempt to clear your vision. “Karie?” you called out, eyes still stinging.

Bit by bit, the fog cleared up. Your heart became heavy as the Titan was once more revealed. The wounds you had so hatefully inflicted had already disappeared, regenerated, as if they had never existed. A wasted effort, one would say. Fresh blood caked the newly formed skin – and you hoped it was just from your hand, the red liquid dribbling out of the cut. It throbbed as you thought of the possibility but you simply ignored it, particularly when Karie hadn’t answered you.

“Karie?”

For a second, everything froze. The shard slipped out of your hand, soaked in your blood. You didn’t care about that. Because lying there, slumped over on the hand, was Karie. She no longer resisted in the Titan’s hold; she couldn’t. Eyes wide and unseeing, they looked right through you; she remained motionless, gone to the world. Your stomach churned at the thought of her being gone, desperate to heave everything up. You prayed that what you were seeing wasn’t true, trying to convince yourself that the steam still surrounding the Titan was playing tricks with your mind.

You reached out to her with your hand, as if you could grab her and bring her right back. “K-Karie?” You shuffled forward as the giant pulled its fist up, dragging her away from your reach. Pulling your hand back, you felt your chest tighten, restricting your breathing. You demanded it give her back. It completely ignored you, continuing to take her away from you.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away as you realised what it was going to do. You began shrieking, commanding it to give her back. It ignored you still. The grubby hand rose her up into the air, dragging your best friend further and further away from you – and you could do nothing but watch. [E/c] eyes focused, wide, on its gaping maw. As you stumbled backwards, you ended up clumsily tripping over your own feet, eyes shut momentarily as you crashed down onto the unforgiving ground. By the time you opened your eyes again, she had already vanished, as if she never existed. You looked around frantically, trying to find her, a small part of your mind convinced that that _thing_ did not just eat her.

Blood pooled at its feet, only a few small puddles that smudged on the bottom of its feet, as if it was nothing to the monstrosity; your deluded mind tried to believe that the blood came from you, not... Karie. 

It moved towards you, face still blank. Its eyes were still dull yet flickered once more with a childlike excitement. You staggered backwards, fear striking your core.

There was no way out now.

The dull thuds of footsteps nearby alerted you to oncoming Titans, more of them wishing to tear you to pieces. Their hands would easily encase your petite body completely, hiding you away from the world around you.

You backed into a corner, spotting your bag off to your side – you had forgotten about that. Swiftly, you grabbed it, clutching it closely to your chest. Something in the back of your mind told you to grab, to keep it close. _Mutti said it was important._

Now though, you were alone. Karie was... _She’s dead. Karie’s dead_... gone. Frederick had orders to obey. Your family wouldn’t know where you were.

_There really is no hope like they say, is there? Why’d I even think I could join the Survey Corps if I can’t save one person? If I can’t even save myself?_

Tears built up in your eyes, blurring your vision. Your small frame shook as you hugged your knees, sobs wracking your chest. _I don’t want to die!_ You bawled as the steps became louder and louder, your end ever-approaching. _Vati, where are you?_

“[First]!”

Your head shot up as you heard – and recognised – that voice. Up on one of the rooftops, stood one of your oldest friends, Frederick Bauer. He clutched the blade handles tightly, white-knuckling them. His fingers lay ready on the triggers. Already, his short chocolate locks were a mess, his uniform stained with the blood of his comrades, friends, civilians. He stared down at you, dark eyes frozen on your form as you shakily stood back up, sprinting towards him, the strap of your bag wrapped tightly over your shoulder.

Seeing you run shocked him into movement. The boy instantly moved to meet you halfway, barging into you with his gear. He hauled you up onto another rooftop, an arm wrapped around your waist. Tiles cracked from the force of your landing, some splinters adorning your face with new, temporary features.

“[First]...”

“Where are they?” you asked sharply, refusing to meet his eyes. You didn’t even rise up to your feet, still on your hands and knees. The pain of the tile shards digging into your skin, the cuts already there, you didn’t feel it. You felt numb. You couldn’t save her. You couldn’t save yourself. Again, you had to have someone else save you.

Frederick sighed, staring at your injured hand. “We’ve got to go, [First]. Come on.”

He tugged on your arm, though it was to no avail. You snapped, retracting your arm sharply, releasing your mental torment on him. “ _Tell me!_ ”

The trainee flinched at your voice; never before had your voice dripped so heavy with venom, with hatred.

“I said _tell me_ , Frederick!”

He slammed his hands down onto your shoulders, shaking you out of your shock. You needed to focus on the situation at hand. “They’re probably at the boats by now, so come on!”

Blades now unsheathed, he led the way along the linked rooftops. You sprinted after him, trying to ignore the snapping of jaws, the snapping of bones all echoing around the once-bustling streets of Shiganshina.

 _We won’t make it at this rate..._ He glanced back at you, eyes drawn again to the caked blood on your hand. _I can’t tell her I saw._ Guilt clawed at the boy from the inside of his chest; he had seen your futile attempts to save your best friend, he had seen her... die, at the hands of that beast – that beast he was supposed to be able to kill. But he just stood there on the very rooftop you saw him on, petrified. He hadn’t moved to save her, to save you. He just watched as his body froze up, refusing to move.

You’d hate him if you knew, that he was sure of.

So it was all he could do for now, to get you to safety, just as he had been ordered.

“[First], stop.” You skidded to a halt, nearly dropping the bag in the process. “You’re going to need to hold onto me, got it?” He fumbled around in a pocket, pulling out a handkerchief. “And cover your hand.”

He shoved the cloth into your hands, face stern. Immediately, you wrapped your hand, before looking at him with your head tilted. “Wait, w-what do you mean, ‘hold on’, Freddy?”

“We’re too slow. I’m getting you out of here. _I promise_.” With that, he seized you by your waist, positioning you under his left arm. “Hold on, [First].”

You gripped onto his uniform jacket, scared of falling down to the ground. Not only would the pain be unbearable as your inner organs and bones would be crushed by the impact, you’d also be easy Titan fodder.

Frederick leapt over gaps, mind constantly working at the safest – and quickest – route possible. He warned you to not look, even if you had seen plenty already. Thing was, he didn’t want you to suffer any more; he saw it all up close. He wasn’t sure how much you had seen, but still wanted to be wary.

Some Titans were too preoccupied with current victims to notice you two, zipping through the air. Others were easily dodged, as he swiftly redirected your course. Right now, his main priority was getting you to Inner Maria.

_I promise, [First]. I promise._

Every bit of his training thus far came rushing back to him. Considering it was only the end of his first year of training, he was skilled in his usage of the 3DMG, the best so far in his division. He proved this with the ease he utilised it, as if it was another limb, an arm or a leg.

And it didn’t escape his attention that you were holding back tears, keeping them trapped behind your pained eyes. The whimpers that escaped your lips clearly portrayed your shattering mental state.

It only gave him an even greater drive to get you _the hell out of there._

_“Freddy, why do you want to be a soldier?”_

_“The boy turned around to face you, frowning at your sudden question. “Why? [First], do you know the oath?”_

_You remained silent as you wracked your mind, trying to pull it out from the very depths of your labyrinth-like mind._

_He chuckled lightly. “Soldiers swear to protect humanity. No matter what.”_

_“W-what if the Titans break through?”_

_“[First]! Don’t talk like that!” He sighed, hand on his forehead in exasperation. “But I guess I’ll protect humanity.”_

_“You’ll protect me, right?” you asked meekly, rubbing your hands together as you stared down at the ground._

_His chest ached as he saw the fear in your eyes. Something snapped in him as he found himself granting you a promise. “Of course I will, runt!” He ruffled your hair, a light smile gracing his soft features. “But they won’t break through. It’s nearly a hundred years now, isn’t it?”_

_“Vati said expect the unexpected.”_

_“Yeah, well I happen to know you’re a smartarse.”_

_Silence. “Freddy, what’s a smartarse?”_

 

Frederick pulled you into a hug, tight and bittersweet. He thought you would need a little bit of warmth in what could probably be your last few minutes. You were close, so close.

He tried desperately to block your view of the Inner Gate as that _thing_ charged. An impossibly bulky Titan was on the main path out of the walled district, headed straight for the Inner Gate. It leant forward even further to gain even more speed; for such an immense lump, it really could run. Your breath hitched in your throat as you peeked around Frederick, watching it as its speed increased.

Your eyes widened as it pummelled into the Gate, shattering it and spraying debris into the immediate vicinity. Those that had tried to retreat, who ran towards the closing gate, were now crushed, dead or dying. _Even more lives lost now_ , you thought glumly. If not already dead, they were probably in pain, both mentally and physically, having the tiny sliver of hope they held onto as they saw the way out ripped from their grasp. You tried to push those thoughts aside, gripping the brunet’s hand for comfort when he pulled away, but they refused to budge.

“It’ll be okay, short stuff,” he assured you, ruffling your hair like he usually did. He didn’t intend to break to his promise.

Frederick tightened his grasp, a snarl on his face. _That’s it_ , he thought, spotting another Titan down the street _. I_ _don’t care what’s blocking the way._ “[First],” he began, releasing your hand. Your hand twitched and automatically moved to take hold of his, only to pull it back. “I promised you.” Unsheathing the dual wield blades, he faced the nearest Titan, only half a street away. “When I tell you, you run for that hole in the Gate, got it?” You were about to interrupt up when he shouted at you. “[First], just listen for _once_ in your damn life!” That Titan was getting closer, ambling mundanely towards the two of you – and he didn’t like that one bit. “I’ll be right behind you. Just _don’t stop running_ , got it?”

You nodded shakily, hands occupied with gripping the satchel tightly. As you awaited his signal, you got into position, ready to run faster than ever before, because this time your life really counted on it. _It’s only a few streets down, [First]. You can do it._

“Go, [First], go!”

As you sprinted towards the ruined remnants of the Gate, Frederick launched himself at the towering humanoid. He needed to ensure that its attention was away from you, so you would have a chance to get to safety. The plan could work for you, but not necessarily for him. Not that he cared about that then.

Swiftly, he encircled the Titan, spinning around it as it tried to swat him like a fly. The brunette swung across its face, acting as a tantalising treat, just within arm’s reach. Unable to resist the temptation, the urge to just grab him, it threw its entire body forward in an attempt to catch him mid-flight, hands reaching out to him. At the very last second, he shot off towards the opposing roof. He began laughing almost insanely as he watched it crash into a building, the rubble temporarily trapping it.

His thirst for steaming Titan fluids burned as he carried on laughing. _I’ll kill every fucking one here._ The crisis had finally taken its toll on him as he recalled images of his comrades being crushed, bitten, ripped apart. _Every fucking one._

Eyes alert, he caught sight of another: an eight-metre class, shuffling inelegantly your way. Its wide eyes locked on him as he propelled himself towards it, hooks latched into the side of another house.

You yelped as a smaller class Titan emerged from one of the side-streets, barging right onto your path. As you turned another corner, it sped up, keeping pace with you, the little, defenceless lamb.

Something flashed right past its face, attracting its attention towards another potential victim. Lungs begging for oxygen, you collapsed onto the ground, shrinking into a corner in the alleyway. You waited, waited for the perfect opening, when you were certain there were no Titans able to snatch you up.

Across the street, you saw Frederick, controlling his Manoeuvre Gear fluidly, as if he had been born with the gear already strapped on. He demonstrated with a plethora of moves, confusing the Titan nearby as it failed to get a hold on him, each time. With a smirk, he slipped away at that crucial last second, before dangling in front of it yet again. A fierce mask was plastered onto his face, the soldier within awakened – but if one were to peel it off, they’d see the sixteen year old inside, struggling to cope with it all, the loss, the blood, the all too real reality that many were dead and not coming back.

He himself didn’t understand how he found the will to keep moving.

“Oi, you!”

An older man, middle-aged at best, stared down at you, hands on his blade handles. His uniform – more so than that of the young soldier boy – was stained heavily with blood, smudges present on his brow and cheeks. You couldn’t help but gulp in fear as [e/c] met cold turquoise.

He raised a bushy brow at your nervous expression, before shaking off the thought. “Come on,” he ordered, hand out for you. “You’ve got to get out of here, now!” As you grabbed hold of his calloused hand, he brashly hauled you up to your feet, glancing over at the still-fighting Frederick.

“Trainee Bauer!” he hollered, voice rough and scratchy. The brunette turned to look at his superior after landing a successful kill, lunacy lurking in his chocolate pools. “Retreat!”

The man, grey streaks visible in his dark hair, dragged you along with him while he rushed through the streets, towards blissful safety. He led your straight to the main road, where Frederick rushed to rendezvous with you. “Come on!” he howled harshly, eyes constantly checking up on the two of you, his free hand remaining on his gear.

“Sir!” Frederick reported in, chest heaving as he ran side-by-side with you. “What do we do now?!”

The officer’s head snapped back round to you, eyes frantic, harder than before. “Don’t worry about that yet, boy! We need t’get the hell out of here first!”

You both followed him, knowing that he didn’t have answers to the questions on your minds. The Gate loomed closer with each step, tantalising you with the promise of possible safety – even if it was crumbling slowly as result of a heavily-armoured Titan breaking through it. _I’ve got to survive, don’t I?_

_“[FIRST]! I TOLD YOU TO GO!”_

Her widened azure orbs flashed through your head, pained and fearful. _I’ve got to._ You forced your body to push on ahead, overtaking the older man as you sprinted towards your goal, Karie’s voice, her begging for you to just go, replaying over and over again in your mind, her desperation eating away at you. This time round, you ignored the burning in your chest, in your legs, the muscles aching for rest. Instead, you opted to carry on, to not have anyone else save you this time. [E/c] eyes darted around your immediate surroundings, wary of any possible threats that you’d have to avoid. You were _not_ going to die now. You were _not_ going to let Karie down like that.

The two soldiers stared at, dumbfounded as to where the hell you got your little burst of speed from.

_This must be one of the girls he talks about... The older one, maybe? Then where’s the young one?_

“Push on through!” he ordered, as you reached the shattered remains of the Gate.

The man stopped temporarily as you two ran on ahead, mind clouded by the direness of the situation – after all, this had never happened before, so no one had any idea what to do. They barely expected anything like that to happen. _There’s too many of them_ , he noted, silently scanning the area around the fallen Gate. He gritted his teeth. _We’ll have to distract them long enough._

By the time he reached you, you had frozen on your spot, gaping at the harbour. The debris from the Gate had caused the nearby houses to crumble, nearly as badly as the first lot of houses destroyed.

“They... left,” you mumbled hopelessly, staring at the battered body of a soldier.

“Bauer,” the man said, voice eerily calm considering the current situation. “Gather some of the men. Just hope that one o’ the captains are still okay...”

He added the last sentence under his breath, muttering away to himself, though you heard each word. _Aren’t the captains supposed to be skilled? If they’re dead... then how will Freddy make it?_

“Sir? What do you have planned?”

Blue and green merged darkly in the shade of a fallen house. “We need to buy the civilians some time.” The elder of the two soldiers stared guiltily down at the ground, wishing for it to just suck him up. “And someone needs to spread the message and tell them Maria has fallen.”

You stood by his side as Frederick darted off with a sharp salute, obeying his orders like the good soldier he was. The taller man noticed as you shuffled awkwardly next to him, already feeling uneasy without your old friend by your side.

“You.” Shoulders shaking, you faced him as soon as you heard his voice address you, unsure of your name. “You’re one of his friends, aren’t you?” You nodded meekly; he intimidated you with his height, those eyes that seemed to bore into your soul. He noticed, blinking away his mild surprise before softening his gaze. “Which one?”

“[F-First] [Last], sir.”

His eyes widened as they flashed over your form. He was sure that Frederick had mentioned the two girls stuck together, the older – Karie – remaining protective over [First]. Yet here you were, alone. It didn’t escape his attention that you had a blood-soaked cloth stuck to your hand, that you clenched it tightly, countless cuts and scratches littering your face and arms. You clothes had obviously seen better days, particularly considering that they were scuffed and ripped in some places, blood dotting the fabric.

 _The other one’s dead, isn’t she?_ He stared at you, trying to deduce how the ‘weaker’ of the two had survived while the other hadn’t. _Eh, it’s all luck in the end..._

“I know your father,” he mentioned, hands on hips as he gazed at the crowds, each person gradually growing more and more frantic. “Got some... intriguing stories, that man.” He chuckled lightly, diverting his attention away from the situation at hand, if only for a moment. “Where is he?”

“Frederick said they’re already at the boats.”

A rather small group of men and women assembled in front of you two, bringing the conversation to an end. Each one saluted, fists curled over blood-stained chests.

“This all?” he asked, brows risen in disbelief.

Frederick nodded glumly, refusing to meet neither his nor your eyes. “Sir... Most are dead, injured or... deserters.” He snarled that last word, the knuckles of his fists white with the inner rage you never knew he possessed. That word sparked a deep hatred, something you never thought possible for him to have.

“You’ll defend these civvies at any cost. Got it?” He glared at each soldier, expecting each to obey without question – though they were mostly trainees, inexperienced when it came to slaughtering Titans. “That there,” he said, pointing accusingly at the failed Fate. “Is the only way in here, and we need to get them all out of here first, to Rose.” Quickly, he divided them roughly, assigning them to varying sections of the area. “I’ll head north and warn the next few villages, and they’ll relay the message. Try to keep these bastards suppressed as long as possible, understood? You are the only thing between _them_ and the civilians.”

“Yes, sir!”

You watched as each ran off, attending dutifully to their respective assignments of evacuation and suppression – all except Frederick. The young soldier lingered behind, eyes locked on your form. His body trembled slightly when he tried to walk, refusing to leave your side.

“Be safe, [First],” he murmured softly, finally managing to shift his body away from you.

He stopped however, when his name was called. “Bauer,” the man began. “When you’re out of this shithole, come find me in Rose.” He slammed a large hand down on your shoulder, a smirk displayed prominently on his face. “I’ll get the wee lass here to her parents. She’ll be safe. Got it, son?”

The brown-eyed boy nodded slowly, confusion glinting in his eyes as he stared at his superior.

“Get going, Bauer. And don’t worry about her. Like I said, she’ll be safe.”

And with that, Frederick waltzed off onto the battlefield, a relieved grin on his face. _See you later, [First]._

 

While you rushed for a horse, you learnt the man was Ulrich Thalberg, a retired Garrison officer. Frederick and the others had already gotten into position, battle cries confirming this. You didn’t dare look back, in fear of seeing another friend fall prey.

You weren’t sure if Frederick was going to make it.

But Ulrich assured that the soldier was strong, especially considering he was only in his first year of training. You knew that didn’t matter though. If high ranking men died, then Frederick could easily die too. After all, you had seen the Survey Corps leave the comfort of the Walls, and return with less than half the original number. Even then, most of those alive were injured in some way or another, wounded and drenched in blood. You just guessed that luck had its own role to play alongside skill.

At each stop, you stood by the mare, just patting her and trying to sort out your thoughts. _Karie’s dead. Freddy’s still fighting. And I don’t know where Mutti and Vati are._

Your shoulders slouched at the realisation. You were all alone in this world now. Ulrich was your only hope as finding your parents. In fact, if it wasn’t for him, you’d be with all the others, crying out as you were abandoned, left to run with false hope and die as that very hope was torn away from you. After all, what hope was there for those left behind?

The horse whinnied pitifully, nuzzling her snout into your face. You couldn’t help but giggle at her. Your father always told you that animals have a sixth sense, letting them know how you felt at that moment. Patting the beast of a horse once more, you mounted her with surprising ease, waiting anxiously for Ulrich. You just wanted to get to Wall Rose already, to the security of a fifty-metre Wall.

“You’ve been through a lot, kiddo.” His hand landed on your head, mussing up your plaited hair. “You going to tell me what happened to your hand yet?”

You sighed weakly, turning to face him. Eyes downcast and dull, you replied. “Glass, sir.”

He took hold of your hand, looking it over closely as he inspected it from multiple angles. The main wound was on your palm, obviously, but what gave it away were lesser nicks on your fingers, on the joints. They too were deep, though not as potentially threatening as the biggest wound. “Why’d you hold glass, kid?”

Your gaze was still on the ground as you stared at it, hoping that that, combined with silence, would make him forget the question.

“Tell me,” he bargained. “And I’ll give you bandages. If not, it’ll fester.”

Your shoulders tensed at that. _That doesn’t sound too good._ “I tried to fight a Titan, sir.” You shifted your faze from him to cobbled ground constantly, ashamed that you couldn’t save her.

The older male mounted they grey as he blocked out the commotion from the evacuating village, eyes wide. _She’s a kid. A kid. And she fought one._ He glanced over his shoulder at you, noticing your forlorn expression. Facing the front once more, he told you: “You did good, kid.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to accept the compliment.

“Where’s the other girl?” he asked as the horse began to trot, leading you further away from the now-panicking village. “Frederick told me about you two, wanting to join the Corps.” He chuckled dryly as he thought of all the things Frederick had told him about you two. “He’s got some interesting stories, the lad.”

When you didn’t answer, he momentarily joined your silence.

“I’m sorry,” he spoke up, breaking the silence. “No one should have to go through that.”

_“[First]!” Don’t! [FIRST]!”_

“Sir, why are you helping me?”

He took to staring up at the sky, the question replaying in his head. Why? Why did he really decide to help you? “We need all the soldiers we can get to fight right now.” He straightened his posture, sitting proudly on the mare like a soldier of the Survey Corps. “Those people deserve a chance, don’t you think? And I can’t have Bauer distracted, hmm?”

It made sense. What if Freddy would desert just to take you to Wall Rose, to keep you safe from the monsters that breached the first two barriers? That would be one less soldier there to defend the remaining civilians. And that could mean fewer survivors.

Your voice was a mere whisper as you muttered, “Thank you, sir.”

“It’s no problem, kiddo,” he laughed lightly. “Now, let’s get to Rose, eh?”

**_Carry on to Chapter Three._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While suffering writer's block in between, I've been writing little side chapters. Like, Chapter 1.1 or something along those lines. I was thinking about maybe posting them on a separate work, attached to this in a series. Any thoughts?


	3. Metamorphosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You reach Trost alongside the Captain, but what awaits you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's Chapter Three!  
> I want to thank everyone who's given me kudoses (is it kudoses? Or kudi? Or just kudos?)/bookmarked the story, or even just read it :)  
> Hope you enjoy Chapter Three (unless you choose the option to run away, that'll come next chapter :) )

_“Are we there yet, Vati?”_

Karie was gone. Frederick was fighting a losing battle. Your parents... Your parents were... Well, who knows where? You were alone.

“Hey, kid. We’re here. C’mon.” With that, the man who led you here hauled you up off the horse, setting you down to on the ground.

He began to walk off, expecting you to follow him. The mare followed him obediently; you didn’t. Once he realised, he turned back, only to release a sigh as he saw you standing there.

“Kid,” the greyed captain began, making his way over to you.

You stared at the ground, before snapping, “[First].” [E/c] hues shifted up momentarily, before retreating once more. “I have a name.”

A smirk made its way to his face. _She’s still got spirit, eh?_ “Okay, [First].” He knelt down, knee clicking, to reach your eye-level. This time, when turquoise met [e/c], it wasn’t harsh. “We _will_ find them, hmm? Bauer’ll kill me if I ditched you, regardless of my bleedin’ rank.” The older man chuckled lightly, allowing a genuine smile to form. “Now, c’mon, your parents’ll be waiting, eh?” His hand reached out to you.

You grabbed the outstretched hand, while chewing at the nails of your free hand. “How d-do you know Vati?”

The Captain let out a snort. “Know him? He’s a great friend. Met him not long after you were born. Haven’t seen him in some–”

“Captain Thalberg!”

He grumbled a few choice words under his breath, before straightening up and letting go of your hand. Over in the moving crowds, he could see a hand poking out, stretching up towards the skies.

“Sir!” Eventually, the soldier reached Ulrich, and gave a sharp salute. He wheezed heavily, and sweat beaded down his forehead.

The superior gave a sigh. “At ease, soldier.” The boy immediately complied, and stood facing him. “Have any others made it through as of yet?”

The young brunet looked away, refusing to meet neither Ulrich’s eyes nor yours. “Some have made it by horse and foot to Karanese and Klorva. Some have been sent out to lead them to Wall Rose. And five hundred here by the boats! B-but we’re waiting on the Military Police Brigade to sort out accommodation for them.”

Ulrich stood straighter – if that was possible – clicking his neck roughly in the process. “Where are the refugees staying?”

“The old food storehouse, sir.”

He nodded in approval, before grabbing hold of your hand. “Where’s Lehrer?”

The amber haired boy stood there, mumbling. He, again, couldn’t meet the Captain’s eyes.

“What was that, kid?”

He gulped audibly. “Sir, Captain Lehrer went out to assist in the evacuation of all southern Wall Maria territories.” He knew it was a suicide mission, ever for a captain.

Ulrich cursed, forgetting that you were there too, with your young ears (not that it mattered; a couple vulgar words couldn’t tarnish your childish innocence more than the Titan attack). “I’ll be heading to Jinae tomorrow, so tell him to find me there. He’ll know where to go.”

“Yes, sir!” The young lad paused, foot out to the side and poised to move. He seemed deep in thought as he turned and focused his eyes on you. “Is she your daughter, sir?”

Stiff, you averted your eyes as Ulrich sharply explained the situation, bushy brows furrowed deeply. While doing so, you found yourself examining the houses opposite you. They stood tall and proud on the street, though some were a bit worse for wear. Tired [e/c] eyes ran over the buildings, stopping when your eyes locked with the amber-gold irises of a boy your age. He frowned, tilting his head, confusion apparent in his face as he seemed to silently ask you, ‘what?’ His eyes narrowed further, before he just turned and left, stalking off back home.

“Remember, kid. Tell whoever’s on duty to keep an eye out for a large group. They’ll be lead by a few soldiers, I reckon. But there might be Titans not far behind. They have to open the Gate at the right moment, got it?”

With that, the young lad saluted and ran off, relaying the orders.

“Ready to go, [First]?”

 

He may not have known you long. He may have just taken you along for a favour.

But he couldn’t stand it, seeing you stand there, with your shoulders slouched. You paid no heed to the people aimlessly barging past you. You were lost in the sea of people.

And then you started calling out for them.

You voice, small and weakened, was drowned out, the syllables lost in the living maze. That didn’t mean you’d give up though. He watched as you started screaming for them, your voice drowned out. Your throat was red raw, but you didn’t give up. You shoved your way through, trying to push past all the people. No one would allow you, too much in shock to even notice you next to them. You cried, but there were no parents no console you, no mother to hold you, no father to protect you.

Ulrich had had enough.

“C’mon, kid.” You didn’t turn to face, nor did you flinch when he appeared from behind you, a hand planted on your shoulder – it was all the support he could provide, and he knew it wasn’t much.

“They’re dead, aren’t they?”

The man, once a tall and proud soldier of the King’s Military, couldn’t even face a ten year old girl.

“What if Freddy doesn’t make it?” Roughly, you wiped a tear away with the back of your uninjured hand. You stared at it after, noticing the nicks still apparent on your skin.

“He will,” Ulrich assured you, eyes cast out over the crowd. “He’s a strong lad. I taught him, after all.”

He turned to look at you, planting a knee down on the ground before you. “I promised him you’d be safe. So you’ll come with me. You can stay with me, ‘til Bauer comes for you.”

“But what if he doesn’t?”

A sigh escaped him. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, kiddo.” His hand landed on your hand, ruffling up your [h/c] locks, freeing even more from the braid. “Besides, I just told you he’d make it, didn’t I? Have faith in him. He made it to the Gate, and he’ll make it here.”

You nodded shyly. _This is Freddy._ You recalled how he had sliced up Titans, silently reassuring yourself. _He’ll make it._

“C’mon, kid. Let’s go.”

 

The journey to Jinae was shorter than you expected. All the way, Ulrich tried to keep up your spirits, telling you jokes that he had heard from his comrades. When you asked, he told of times he was sure he had long forgotten. He managed to make you smile, even if just a little bit.

As you arrived in the small town, a handful of locals approached the soldier familiar to the majority. They bombarded him questions, all minds curious regarding the supposed ‘Fall of Maria’. Horror broke out on their faces when he confirmed the rumours; that Wall Maria had indeed been lost to the Titans.

You sat behind him, arms tightening around him. He glanced back at you with a sign, before excusing himself.

“Maybe they were in the crowd at the harbour, kid.”

“I didn’t see them,” you murmured, voice muffled by his blood-stained – and now dusty – jacket.

“It’ll be okay,” he tried, frowning as he realised how bad he was at comforting.

You choked back a sob. “It won’t be.”

“[First]–”

“I want my mutti.”

 _“I want my mama.”_ The words he had so long ago pushed down, shoved into the furthest corners of his mind, showed themselves, repeating inside his head. _“No, I want mama!”_

Not too far away, a boy sat on his doorstep, head in his hands. He had a gentle, soft face – the chocolate brown eyes and freckles sprinkled across his face probably helped. He had glanced up, spotting the commotion; all day, he had been bored, and everyone else was too busy with the recent events. But he knew that something happening as soon as he heard those hooves, clicking and clacking against the street.

He managed to get near the front of the crowd, and caught sight of you as the horse passed by. Your arms where desperately wrapped around the soldier, as if he was your lifeline. [E/c] eyes were red, puffy; you looked, judging by your scraped face and mussed up hair, like you had been through hell.

Of course, the freckled lad had too heard the stories. And no wonder you were that traumatised, having seen all that.

But, he didn’t like seeing you so upset, even if that was the first time he had seen you. So he ran into the house, a little idea forming itself in his mind.

 

“[First], you have to eat.”

You didn’t turn to face him, eyes focusing on what lay beyond the window. Your head lay on top of your legs, and you had wrapped yourself up in your arms. “Not hungry,” you spoke back, voice muffled.

The greying man sighed and walked away, leaving you to it.

Ulrich found himself sighing more since he came across you. You’d barely eaten by his side, and when you did, you only picked at the meal, perhaps stomaching a forkful or two – and that was it. He didn’t know what to do.

“I wish you were here, Harriet.”

Surely she’d know just what to do? She’d hug you tight and tell you it’ll all okay, and reassure you that things could only get better; he couldn’t imagine himself, a grown, stern man like himself, doing something like that. He’d just find it... Awkward. And he guessed you would too. So he decided it would be best to give you some space, and time to wrap your mind around things.

Torn from his thoughts, he turned to the door, having heard the rumbling knocks on the now-splintering entrance (he reminded himself to replace it at some point). He was curious; the man never had any visitors when he was actually home, except for the rare messenger.

“G-good afternoon, sir.”

He furrowed his eyebrows, nearly glaring at the kid at his door. “Hmm?

The dark haired boy shuffled uneasily, hands hiding a gift behind his back. “Y-you see, sir, I-I saw you yesterday, o-on your horse. A-and th-there w-was a girl too...”

“[First], you mean?” He leaned back, arms crossed defensively. The poor boy looked like he was about to soil his pants; inwardly, he smirked, glad he still had that old intimidating aura. “And what about her, kid?”

A soft pick dusted his freckled cheeks. “I-I saw she was upset,” he shared, slowly gaining confidence as he remembered his mission. “So I wanted to cheer her up.”

Ulrich was surprised. His eyes widened, though only slightly, before dropping back into the same old glare. “And what makes you think you can come in, hmm?”

All the confidence the boy had so marvelously worked up shattered. “Oh, um, I, well...”

It was then that he realised and told himself: _Ulrich, he could get her to talk._ Rubbing his forehead, he grunted and stepped aside to let him in. “Be careful, though,” he warned him protectively. “Girl’s been through a lot.”

“Was she in Wall Maria, sir?”

He nodded glumly. “Aye, Shiganshina.” His own aquamarine eyes met the warm chocolate of the boy’s. “Say, what’s your name, kid?”

“Marco Bodt!” he introduced happily. He stuck out a hand, his smile, bright and cheerful, fading into a shier version. “I-it’s nice to meet you, sir.”

“Ulrich Thalberg,” he replied, shaking his hand. “You know what, kid?” Ulrich said, staring up at the (also cracking) ceiling. A smirk revealed itself. “I like you. You’re polite.” He chuckled deeply. “Come with me.” Without any hesitation, Marco followed, no longer hiding the gift. “What’s that, Bodt?”

He slightly jumped, and rubbed the bridge of his nose sheepishly. “W-well, sir. My mother’s always given me sweet buns when I’m upset! They’re filled with honey, and they work for me...”

The old captain found himself smiling. _Harriet, you’d love this kid._ “Heh, good thinking, kid.”

He led him down the hall, past the peeling walls that he had yet to fix – he had a lot to fix, but he rarely home, too busy with work – and towards the room the young girl had isolated herself in.

“[First]?” he called out, oddly softly, considering the deepness of his voice, pushing the door open. “You’ve got a visitor.”

You perked up, immediately answering and facing the door. “Is it Freddy?”

 _Shit_ , Ulrich groaned mentally, having forgotten for just a split second that you were waiting on Freddy; you had already given up on your parents, believing that they would be still be in Shiganshina – after all, they weren’t on the boats, and they weren’t at the harbour.

He shook his head slowly. “No, it’s someone from round here. He wanted to meet you.”

Your face dropped, all hope gone yet again. That damned mask was back up, as you had grown tired of crying – he doubted you had much liquid left inside you, what with all the tears you had already let out. “Why?”

Before Ulrich had a chance to explain, Marco butted in, smiling at you. “I saw you were upset, Miss. I thought you needed to smile.” He glanced up at the veteran, who simply nodded. “I made you some of these,” he said, handing the bundle over to you. “They’re sweet honey buns! They help me when I’m upset, so I just thought... that maybe they’d, you know, help you...”

You stared at the bundle in your hands, before looking up at his shining chocolate hues, that were probably filled with even more sweetness than the buns.

**_How do you react?_ **

_Option 1 – You feel guilty receiving them. There’s no point if the others aren’t here... Go to **Chapter Five**_

_Option 2 – His actions warm your heart, making you smile, even if only a little. Go to **Chapter Six**_

_Option 3 – You’re overwhelmed by everything, and run off, out of the cottage. Go to **Chapter Eight**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can't tell, I love Marco. I just felt he was right for this part - as well, I wanted to imagine what Jinae would be like, having not seen it.  
> Any comments and opinions are welcomed :)


	4. I Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You choose to listen to Karie, and run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the really lengthy wait! I've had quite a lot going on, but I'm aiming to try to write more now.  
> For now, here's Chapter 4! Chapter 5 should hopefully be up in a few days too now! :)

With eyes watery and woeful, you stared up at her. She relentlessly screamed at you, thrashing around in the Titan’s grasp. Your breath hitched in your throat as your eyes locked with the monster’s.

“[First]!”

Snapping out of your stupor, you faced your best friend once again. “I’m sorry!” you wailed. Sobs racked your chest, forcing out short gasps. Her pleads rang through your ears as you spun around, tripping over something.

Stumbling back up, you noticed the bag, and grabbed it.

Her cries followed you, pushing you further down the street, and you quickly dipped into an alley to your left. Footsteps too loud to be a human’s filled your ear as your body shook; fear took over wholly. Which way was right? Left? Up? Down?

You stopped. _Karie needs help._ Your eyes swept over your surroundings as you attempted to form a plan. _If I can find Vati or Freddy, they can help._ You guessed Frederick was already busy, forced to help evacuate the city. _But your father..._ He would be looking for you. _He could be anywhere._

 _The Gate._ Everyone would be headed there. There was a chance you’d bump into either him or Freddy.

With a tight hold on the linen strap, you sprinted off again. You couldn’t hear Karie’s screams anymore; you assumed she was too far away. The footsteps though, they were closer now, looming near you. Still shaky, you pushed on ahead.

 _Thud. Thud._ Another scream. It was too close for comfort. Knowing it would only get closer, you ducked – again – into an alleyway, though this one was significantly smaller. You tried to still your breathing, hearing the pounding clearer now.

A man rushed past the alley, looking over his shoulder. A hand reached down, dragging him back into your view. He saw you, called out for you. You just sat there, eyes locked on to the entrance of the alleyway, body shivering as he was again out of sight, the noises making you sick to your stomach.

You wanted to help, you did – but how could you? You were just a kid after all. There was nothing you could-

A hand grabbed hold of your collar, forcing you out of hiding. You cried out, screaming bloody murder, only to have a calloused hand slammed over your mouth.

“[First]?”

Eyes meeting, you recognised the man as an acquaintance of your father, a Garrison soldier – and a drunkard. In fact, you could still smell the putrid aroma of liquor on his breath, the whiskey he always had imported from Wall Sina.

“[First]! Answer me!”

Dazedly, you glanced up at his stern features, eyes distracted by the permanent crease in his brow. “W-what?”

“Come on,” he ordered, taking hold of your much smaller hand.

As you followed numbly, you remembered. You put all your weight onto your feet and dug them into the ground, determined to stop both of you.

He whipped his head around, staring at you as if you were mad. “[First], come on! We have to get out of here!”

“Karie!” Eyebrows furrowed and eyes ablaze, you glared up at him. “Karie’s in trouble! They’ve got her!” When he went to move once more, you pulled him back with an amazing amount of strength. His eyes widened at the sudden movement.

“Listen, you little...”

“You’re a soldier!” you interrupted, voice scratchy as you continued to scream at him. “You’re supposed to protect humanity! To protect Karie!”

With a sigh, he looked away. “You’re a big girl, right?” You hummed, suspicious, eyes still vicious. He turned to meet your eyes. “We can’t help her now. You have to understand that.” You glanced back over your shoulder, as if you could still see her. He took advantage of the movement and swung you over his own shoulder, already jogging off to the Gate.

You pounded on his back, screaming and demanding he help her. He refused to face you, a sour expression on his face as your words repeated through his head: _you’re supposed to protect humanity!_

He pushed on ahead, catching up with some of the others who ran. A solider stopped him, ordering him to put you down and aid them with the cannons.

He refused, nearly snarling. “If I put her down, she’ll run back in!”

“Then let her.”

Your ‘saviour’ glared. “This is [F/n] [Last]’s daughter.”

The other soldier gulped, allowing him past.

Your eyes locked onto the Gate, watching it pass over your head as you were carried across the threshold. “[First],” the man started. “I don’t know where your father is, or your mother. But stay here. Don’t go back into Shiganshina.”

He sprinted through the small harbour town, eyeing the massing crowds. “They’re evacuating?” he mumbled to himself, though you still heard. “Change of plan. I’m getting you on those boats.” He sped up even more – if that was even possible. You whimpered, Karie’s screams now being heard from inside your head.

Since he was a large man, he had no trouble charging through the crowds. The first boat was being dispatched, the familiar clinks resounding throughout the sea of people.

You recognised some of the faces, the voices pleading for their children to be let on. No matter how many times your eyes swept over them all, you couldn’t see your parents. “W-where are they?”

“I’ll find them,” he promised, voice shaky. As he neared the boardwalk, he recalled his previous plans of using you as an excuse to escape. _Well, she’s right. I’m a soldier._

He placed you back on the ground, giving you a small smile, along with the slight blush from all the alcohol he had previously consumed. “Your father talks about you a lot, you know?”

With that, he turned to one of the soldiers guarding the boardwalk, demanding they let you on. He pulled rank, and again you caught him mentioning your father’s name. You knew your father was close with a lot of the soldiers already, but you had no idea he was familiar with all these ones you had never seen before.

He turned to you, and patted your shoulder. “When you see your old man, wherever he is, tell him he owes old Jack one.” He chortled loudly, before directing you to the ship.

As you walked on, you noticed ‘old Jack’ call out to another soldier. “Hannes!” You kept watching him, eventually losing sight of him as he disappeared into the crowd.

You shuffled into a corner, sitting across from a blonde boy who looked to be your age. Tremors wracked your body as you clung onto your bag, unable to recognise those around you.

The boy made a move so as to reach out to you, but was stopped by an older man – his grandfather, perhaps? “Give her time,” he told the boy.

Of course, he obeyed, and sat in his place, before darting up as he caught sight of something.

You zoned out, clutching the bag tighter, plagued by thoughts of Karie’s fate.

A resounding pounding gained your attention, and you glanced over to see a Titan past the Gate, a gaping hole in the Wall behind it. A strangled gasp escaped you.

_They... They got through?_

 

Eventually, the ship had reached the city of Trost. Five hundred were herded off the boats, taking refuge in an old food storehouse. Immediately, you set off, trying to find your parents. You pushed through the heaving crowds, called out for them until your throat was raw.

You were alone. There was no one to stand with you, to guide you.

**_So, what do you do?_ **

Get food. There are some queues forming and bread seems to be handed out. **Go to Chapter**

Join the cluster of kids. They’re probably all in the same situation as you right now. **Go to Chapter**

Rest inside the storehouse. No one appears to be in there just yet, and you feel drained of all energy. **Go to Chapter**


	5. And They All Fall Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco tries to become your friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is Chapter Five! Quite short though, but I think this chapter is better suited as being shorter. Enjoy!

Taking a deep breath, you placed the bundle next to you, folding your hands in your lap.

“Th-thank you,” you murmured, eyes refusing to look up at him. “I-it was very thoughtful of you.”

“Marco Bodt,” he announced with a faint red glow to his cheeks, a hand outstretched to you.

“[First] [Last].”

An awkward tension hung in the air as you stared down, eyes dull. Ulrich shuffled around on his feet, humming as he thought.

“Sorry,” you finally cut in. Marco beamed, expecting you to finally start conversing. “But I’m really tired.”

The soldier grunted, understanding what exactly you meant. He stepped forward, hand on the younger boy’s shoulder. As they walked out, he couldn’t help but apologise to the kid. After all, he had put effort in.

Of course, Marco chirped happily his understanding and promised that he’d come visit her later.

“Ever seen a drawing of a Titan?”

The brunette frowned. “There’s a book I saw once. It had a Titan in it.”

“Maybe ask [First] about the one that broke the Wall one day. Might help her open up about what she’s been through.”

He nodded, stepping out of the house. “Could I come back tomorrow, Mr Thalberg?”

A smirk grew on Ulrich’s face. Oh, how he loved the boy’s manners. “Come down for lunch or something. She might be a bit better tomorrow. Or not. Who knows?”

“You can’t imagine that thing,” you blurted out from behind him as the door shut. You carried on as he turned to face you. “It’s hard enough imagining a normal Titan. They all look weird.” The face of the Titan that killed Karie came to mind. “What’s the point of the Survey Corps?” you began to question the retired soldier. “I thought they were brave, seeing them going out again and again... But it’s just stupid.”

“It’s stupid?” he asked her, a brow raised. “So you were stupid ‘cause you wanted to join?”

“Yes.”

Silently he stalked off, leaving you to yourself. You found yourself back in your room, staring at the treats given to you by the freckled boy. Marco Bodt... The aroma had already filled the room, and you couldn’t escape the smell. _Karie would have liked you, Marco._

You stared at your surroundings in deep thought, observing all the little details. The shelf of dolls, the books piled at the foot of the bed. Obviously it had been someone else’s before.

The door slammed open, creating a new crack on the wall. You found yourself snorting, muttering “stupid old man,” under your breath.

The ‘stupid old man’ waltzed into the room, several trunks piled up in his clutches. “Oi, squirt. Give me a hand here, eh?”

Grumbling, you stood up to take the top chest, setting it down on the bed. The two that Ulrich still held were placed on the ground as he grinned. “You need some clothes, kid.” He rummaged through the closest, mumbling to himself. “Wrong box... Must be this one...”

A pile of shirts were thrust towards you, most of them a murky olive green. As you stared at the clothes, only one question came to mind. “Why do you have girl’s clothes? That’s kind of creepy, old man.”

A low growl resonated from his throat as he restrained himself. _You promised Frederick, you promised him._ A smile – though it was more a grimace than anything – appeared on his face. “These are my daughter’s old clothes.” A genuine smile came into view as he thought of her.

“Where is she?” you immediately asked, inspecting a shirt.

“She left some time ago, kid.”

You stared at him, noticing the slight twitching of his brow as he tried to not frown, the way he wouldn’t look up to meet your eyes.

Suddenly his head shot up, and he made to take the other two boxes away, murmuring something to you about dinner.

 

The next day, Ulrich had gone off into the town for supplies. And sure enough, the Bodt boy came back, as promised.

His arrival was announced with a crash and a soft cry of shock. You glanced down at the ground from the roof, and rolled your eyes. The freckled boy pushed himself up, a grunt leaving him. He stared at the tile below him, before turning his head up. He meekly waved, smiling.

You turned around, intending to ignore him. He came up though, and sat next to you on top of the tiles.

“What are you doing up here?” he asked, rubbing the back of his head.

You shrugged. “Nice view.”

Marco nodded. He shot up suddenly, and scrambled down from the rooftop. You watched as he clambered back up, a small cloth bundle in hand. He laughed nervously. “I brought you some more!”

You stared at the package, and turned back up to him. “Thank you,” you mumbled, your gaze aimed at the tiles.

The boy moved to sit with you, eyes drawn to the clouds that loomed above.

“It’s beautiful.”

You didn’t grace him with a reply, instead exhaling deeply as you took in the scene, thoughts popping into your mind.

“Are you going to join the Military?”

Two [e/c] orbs shifted to stare at the tanned boy.

The boy leaned back on his hands, letting out a sigh. “I want to join the Military Police. Serving the King... That’d be an honour!”

“I’ve heard that the Military Police are cowards who just want to hide and be safe.”

Marco flinched, eyes blown wide in shock. “Only a few get to work for the King. It’s an honour. It would mean I’m good.” He calmed down, though his eyebrows remained furrowed. “But I still have to get a place in the Top Ten.”

You gazed forward at the midday sun. “Then you just have to work for it.”

He smiled. “Yeah, I guess I do.” His own eyes, deep chocolate hues, followed the same direction as yours.

“Are you sure you want to join the Military?”

The boy nodded firmly.

Again you sighed. “What if you have to face them?” He watched you clench your fist tightly before releasing it. Only now he noticed the bandages, wrapping whatever wound lay beneath, tarnishing your [s/t] skin.

He turned to face the skies once more, resolve still solid. “Then I will gladly give my life for humanity!”

Marco turned to face you. You noticed how friendly he looked, the freckles adding warmth to his already-soft face. “Are you joining the Military?”

**_Are you?_ **

No. Like you said before, it’s stupid. **Go to Chapter**

Maybe. Perhaps you and Marco could join the MPs together. **Go to Chapter**


	6. Riding On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco tries to cheer you up, and Ulrich has an update on Freddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone who was actually reading this, I am really sorry! I'm getting back into writing now, there was just a big old block of problems going on. But, hopefully more updates. I've got the next couple chapters planned out and Chapter Seven is on its way!
> 
> (P.S. If you're reading this, thank you so much! I appreciate all the reads, the kudoses, the bookmarks. Thank you! Knowing other people had an interest is what inspired me to pick it back up again!)

Shyly, you averted your eyes to the floor. “Th-thank you,” you muttered in thanks for the gift, cheeks ablaze.

Marco’s face nearly blew up; his smile had become impossibly large. As his happiness continued growing, Ulrich stood by in amusement. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he leaned against the doorframe, relaxing for the first time since the Fall.

“I’m Marco, Marco Bodt,” the young boy introduced himself as.

“[First] [Last].” Finally, you lifted your head up. Immediately, you caught sight of bright eyes, shimmering with hope, and smiled lightly in return.

His grin remained. “It’s nice to meet you, [First]!”

The retired soldier shifted to leave the room. “You’re welcome to stay for dinner, Marco.” Before said boy could even reply, Ulrich had left the room.

It had become awkward, quickly. You moved around in your spot stiffly, hands fiddling with the cloth wrapping. Ulrich had bandaged your hand properly when you had both arrived in Jinae, and you, out of nervousness, kept picking at it until strands came loose. And at this moment, your nervous habits spiked – you hadn’t interacted with new people by yourself in some time now, and all you could think of was the Titans.

“What was it like in Shiganshina?” You turned to him, face pained. He continued. “I’ve always wondered what it’s like in the district cities. If they’re all the same, or all different.” He sat next to you and looked to his feet. “I’ve never really left Jinae, but I really want to join the Military Police. It’s the greatest honour! I’ll get to serve under the King, and I’ll get to see what the Interior is like.”

You stared at him in slight admiration. “It’s busy. There’s a market around every corner. And bakers, a lot of bakers.” You smiled again, with more ease this time. “There was a stable just outside the Inner Gate, so we always rode the horses. My vati knew the owner, so I went there a lot.”

He noticed as your face went darker when you realised you couldn’t go there anymore.

“Who went with you?”

“Karie. Freddy too, but he joined the Military a year ago.”

“Where are they?”

“The Titans got Karie.” He winced; your entire demeanour changed. You no longer smiled; instead, your face had sunken in misery as the thoughts and memories were brought up. “And Freddy’s off fighting the Titans. Ulrich said he’ll be fine though. I know he will.”

Again, you both smiled. While you smiled with faith for your friend, Marco simply did so because you were.

An idea struck his mind. He leapt up and offered you a hand. His eyes shone as he spoke, “Come on, I’m going to show you something.”

“B-but Ulrich-”

He dragged you out of your room and through into the next room. He spotted Ulrich immediately and went up on his tip-toes (after all, Ulrich was a tall guy) and whispered something into his ear. A knowing smirk appeared instantly on the older male’s face and he nodded encouragingly.

Marco grasped your hand once again and led you out of the room. You followed somewhat willingly, trying to figure out what he was up to. When asked, the freckled teen refused to give you the answer – he wouldn’t even give you so much as a hint.

 

“We’re nearly there, [First],” he told you finally, turning to face you with a great big grin on his face.

You looked ahead, seeing the meadow in front of you, and an old house to your far left. You were confused, understandably so. “What is this place? Why’d you take me here?”

Again, he smiled at you. “When you were speaking about riding the horses, I remembered my mother telling me about the old stables. There’s an old man who lives here, and he’s always had horses. He raises them for the Military now, but still lets people ride them.”

He let go of your hand – you had forgotten he was holding it – and ran off towards the stables.

“H-hey, Marco! Wait for me!”

You chased after him, your spirits raising as the grass grazed your calves. It smelt so fresh, so clean – it brought you back to the memories of the horse field near the harbour. The air cleansed your chest, and you felt some of the weight on your shoulders drop off.

By the time you had caught up with Marco, he had already knocked on the door and was talking to an elderly man. He seemed rather frail, but smiled nonetheless.

He looked up once you arrived, sunken dark eyes meeting your eyes. “So,” he began, eyes sparking teasingly as he turned back to the boy. “This is your little lady friend you’re taking riding, hm? Has she met your mother yet?”

Marco immediately mumbled something you couldn’t hear, freckles standing out against a deep blush.

He chuckled, and gripped onto a cane hanging on the wall. “Tell you what, first ride is on me. But tell that mother of yours to visit soon!”

The two of you followed him round to the hidden side of the house, and your eyes grew as you spotted the horses lined up in the stables, each standing tall.

“Do you both know how to ride horses?”

You nodded enthusiastically, eyes wide in awe, while Marco seemed wary.

“Go on then, pick one!”

While you looked at each and every horse, the man held your freckled friend back. “You said you wanted to cheer her up. Is it to do with Wall Maria?”

Marco nodded. “She was in Shiganshina, sir. Mr Thalberg says she’s lost everyone.”

The old man sighed. “You kids shouldn’t have to worry about Walls falling or Titans.” He leant against the wall and gestured towards a shed attached to the stables. “Saddles and reins are in there.” He placed a hand on the younger boy’s shoulder. “She’ll need you, I’d say. I’ve heard some rumours about Shiganshina, and none of them are too pretty.”

Before Marco could respond, he carried on. “Let’s put that to the side for now. You go have fun!”

You were leading out a large mare when Marco went to choose his horse. He pointed you towards the shed, and you smiled in thanks. You had pretty quickly dug out a saddle, along with reins, and quickly equipped your horse. You mounted with ease, and rode smoothly out to the meadow. He stopped and watched you as your laugh echoed throughout the wide space. It was almost like Shiganshina had never fallen, like you had never had to go through that.

He joined in with your laughter and chased you through the field.

 

It had become a daily occurrence for Marco to take you to the horses. Eventually, the old man (Henry, his name was) suggested that you could ride the horses as often as you like, so long as the two of you helped him out.

And throughout that time, both Ulrich and Marco noticed you lightening up. Riding seemed to be your escape.

“You know, kid, you’re better than most of the soldiers in the Military, eh? Better than Frederick, anyway.”

It had been another day when you and Marco headed out. You were just grooming one of the mares and talking to the owner when Ulrich had appeared behind you.

You jolted up, body trembling before you realised it was him. Turning around, eyes shut in anticipation, you asked the dreaded question: “Did Freddy come back?”

The stable owner shuffled over to Marco, wanting to give you space. Both noticed your sobs and looked over. You had collapsed onto the ground, head in your hands. Ulrich had knelt down and placed a hand on your shoulder, trying to comfort you in some way.

“Poor lass…” Henry muttered.

“It’s… it’s gonna be okay, [First],” they heard Ulrich tell you. Your reply was muffled.

The young boy could do nothing to help; he only stood there, an arm reaching out for you. A hand landed on his shoulder. “Like I said before, be there for her."

So he made himself a silent promise

**_Carry on toChapter Seven_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Mutti - From the German, Mutter (mother), used like the English, "Mummy"  
> Vati - From the German, Vater (father), used like the English, "Daddy"


End file.
